


Broken

by hello33willoTheWisp845



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Despair, F/F, Friendship, Love, Pain, Torture, hopelessness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-03-22
Packaged: 2019-11-18 03:22:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 9,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18112244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hello33willoTheWisp845/pseuds/hello33willoTheWisp845
Summary: Seven of Nine is kidnapped and must deal with the experience after being rescued. This story includes descriptions of Posttraumatic stress syndrome.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, I have translated my german text for you with Google Translator. Unfortunately I can´t speak good enough English to know if the translator translates everything correctly. I hope you can still read the story well. Have a good read.

"My name is Seven of Nine. As a child I was assimilated by the Borg. The pain when I was assimilated was immeasurable. Like the pain I have to endure now. I was kidnapped 14 hours ago and since then my kidnappers torture me.

At this point in my existence, it has become irrelevant whether I continue to exist or my life is put to an end. My nanoprobes work to maximum to heal my injuries. They will soon be exhausted and then deactivate. When this happens, my body functions, as well as my cortical node will also stop working and I will die.

The Borg have always strived for perfection sought and searched. But now I realize, at these points of my existence, that only death contains the only true perfection. Only he alone can bring me salvation and lead me away from this cruel place.

Death is now more of a welcome goal to be striven for. I am Seven of Nine. This drone will welcome death."

Seven retreated to a safe place, deep inside her and her body fell broken and battered on the hard stone tiles, staying half dead and motionless.


	2. Chapter 2

Captain Kathryn Janeway rushed to the infirmary at a fast pace. Still in her hasty step, she immediately became, she was stopped by Doctor immediately after entering the infirmary. He looked at her seriously and she looked back at him seriously.

"Please let me go to her." she begged the doctor desperately.

"I can not do that. You should not see her in this condition, it would upset you too much." The doctor explained sympathetically.

Kathryn's command mask fell and a few tears ran down her cheek. "Please let me go to her, she needs me." She appealed to the doctor again.

The doctor stepped aside downcast and Kathryn stepped toward the biobed, to Seven, the woman she was secretly in love with, for a long time.

Shocked by the extent of the injuries and the fact that she could no longer recognize Seven among all those burns, cuts, broken bones and other injuries, because now only an undefined crowd lay spread out before her on the biobed that was fighting for her life, she remained standing stunned. Her stomach cramped immediately and she had to vomit her breakfast.

The doctor had since stepped back to Biobett and had further healed Seven injuries. He looked worriedly at the captain, worried that she would collapse because she looked very pale and aged by years.

But after Kathryn had vomited, she straightened up again, went to the bathroom and rinsed her mouth and washed her face with cold water. It took a few minutes to get back to herself. Then she stepped out of the bathroom and walked with shaky legs toward the biobed where Seven lay. She swallowed several times and tried to control her tears. But her body did not seem to obey her anymore.

As she stood very close to the biobed, she reached out and lightly touched Seven's wounded face. She stroked the many bruises.

When she got a little bit collected, she could take her eyes off Seven and look directly at the doctor.

"Report!" She murmured softly, but the doctor had heard her.

"The outside team was able to rescue Seven in time. Only half an hour later and all her nano probes had switched off and thus also her cortical node. Once she's been transported to the infirmary, I've sedated her so she will not have to feel the pain, she undoubtedly has. I've injected her with a supply of new, functioning nano-probes that are now healing the internal injuries while I taking care of the external injuries. I would have to be ready in a few hours that all internal and external injuries are taken care of and Seven can be moved in their alcoves. I suggest she should regenerate there for about 1-2 weeks" the doctor reported as he continued to care for Seven's wounds.

Kathryn had only been able to look at Seven while he was telling her. Without realizing it, she had seized Seven's hand in her hand and stroked her skin with her thumbs, lost in thought.

"Will she be fully recovered?" She asked in a shaky voice.

"Yes, physically she will be well again. However, I do not know how it will look with her mental health. We'll have to wait and see how Seven recover."

Kathryn nodded to the doctor, hoping that what was coming could be handled by Seven. She decided deep inside that no matter what would happen, she would always be there for Seven and help her process the experience.

"Captain?" The doctor tore Kathryn from her thoughts and looked at the doctor.

"Yes?" She asked softly.

"I think you should go back to the bridge. I have here all under control. I'll let you know as soon as I have completely cured Seven and she can be transferred to her alcove."

Kathryn looked at him in horror, she still held Seven in her hand and for nothing in the world she wanted to let go of these or even leave the room. No, she wanted to stay here with Seven and through her presence is courage and power.

But she realized that this was not possible and that she was still the captain of Voyager and therefore had to return to work. She gently put Seven's hand back out of Biobett and nodded to the doctor before quickly leaving the infirmary.

But before she returned to the bridge, she made a stopover in her quarters. When the doors to their quarters closed, she decreased to the floor and wept unrestrainedly the pain she felt deep inside her since she saw Seven lying half dead in the infirmary on the biobed.


	3. Chapter 3

After the Doctor Seven completely healed, she was transferred to her alcove so that her nano-probes and her Borg implants could now be properly treated.

That was more than 2 weeks ago. Kathryn stood expectantly and worried in front of Sevens alcove, waiting for the regeneration cycle to end.

For the past two weeks she had spent almost every spare minute in Cargo Bay 2 watching over Seven. Each member of the crew knew what had happened to Seven and that her captain had been reluctant to leave her side since then. At first, one was still skeptical about this new development. But Commander Chakotay had asked the crew in a memo to accept that their captain was and just a human being, and that she cared and cared much about Seven and her well-being. The crew had then accepted and everyone tried as best as possible to facilitate the work for the captain, so she could spend more time at Seven.

And now she stood impatiently in front of Seven Alkoven, waiting for the cycle to finally end. She was impatient, but she was also afraid of that moment.

Only a few minutes later, the computer voice finally announced what Kathryn had expected and feared for so long.

"Regeneration cycle has ended"

Seven stood motionless in her alcove and Kathryn took another step closer to see what was wrong. But then Seven's eyes fluttered open and she drew a deep breath into her lungs.

******************************************************************

Seven felt herself being torn out of a pleasant darkness and how her body gained weight. She did not want to, but here she was. Her eyes fluttered open and she was the first to see her captain standing expectantly in front of her. All the weight of a mighty weight settled on her body and she lost the power to stand upright. She sank powerlessly to her knees, hiding her face in her hands.

That should not have happened. She had found perfection in death and had been convinced to know it. But now, once again, she had been carried away by a perfection she had firmly believed in and which was her declared goal. She wanted to welcome death and brave it. But all that remained was the memory of the pains that were no longer present, but still squeezed hard on her body and nailed her to the ground.

Suddenly, she felt the captain's warm hand on her shoulder, startling herself deeply at that physical touch. The heat burned through Seven's biosuit and caused more pain. No not physical, but very basic to a deep physical level of consciousness.

"No, not!" Said Seven hard and tried to stand up. The heavy weight on her body made it hard for her to get up. But she was not willing to look weak to her captain. She had to straighten up, no matter how much strength it cost her.

"Please, let me help you." the captain asked softly.

"No, I do not need your help. I'm fine." said Seven, finally getting up.

The captain looked at her in surprise. "Seven, you ..."

"No, I'm fine. How long have I regenerated?" Seven asked before the captain could speak. Seven did not want to hear what she had to say. She did not want to be here. She did not want anything of everything that would happen now. She was tired and she was so powerless. But that should not show them, otherwise everything would get worse.

"Over two weeks, more specifically 16 days and 7 hours. The doctor would like to see you and examine you. He asked me to accompany you to him. Are you coming?" Asked Captain Seven.

"I do not need your help. I'll go to the doctor by myself." Seven said with a coldness and hardness in her voice that left no doubt that she was serious.

The Captain flinched at the rejection and stepped away from Seven and looked at her. Seven turned quickly and left Cargo Bay 2 as well as she could without falling again.

She was still shaky on her feet, but the more steps she made towards the door, the more certain she became. As soon as she left Cargo Bay 2, she turned in the opposite direction to the turbolift. At the next deck crossing she hid behind the bulkhead and sank exhausted and trembling. There she pulled her knees against her and buried her head between them. Her whole body trembled uncontrollably and she had trouble enough air to draw into her lungs. Her heart beat wildly and threatened to explode. There was a rushing sound in her ears and Voyager vanished from Seven's consciousness and she returned to her memory.


	4. Chapter 4

_When Seven came to, she looked around in confusion. She was strapped to a rack and could not move. Her mind was running at full speed as she tried to remember how she had gotten into this situation._

*********************************

They had found some inhabited planets in a star system and the captain had decided that their supplies had to be replenished. The crew was divided into four groups. An outside team was responsible for procuring the required supplies, while the captain himself maintained diplomatic contacts, and half of the crew was granted shore leave. The rest of the crew stayed on Voyager and was commanded by Commander Chakotay.

Seven was forced to take shore leave. It had been an explicit command from the captain that she took a break from work on Voyager and used it to shore leave on the planet. Seven had reluctantly agreed and learned what sights to see on the planet. She then decided to attend a tour of ancient ruins in the southern part of the planet. Except for her, none of the crew took part in this visit. Seven really enjoyed wandering among the ruins and learning about the historical data on her data padd.

*********************************

_Before she could think any further, she suddenly heard two voices approaching._

_"What have you brought me today?" A male voice asked, still not close enough to see who it was._

_"Oh, you'll like it. She's a treat and you'll enjoy her." another male voice replied._

_Seven blinked confused and did not know what those two creatures were talking about. A moment later she could see two male humanoid-looking figures approaching. Both looked scary. However, being Borg, she suppressed the rising panic and tried to be as calm as possible. She put on her cool borg mask and arrogantly raised her chin._

_"Oh hello? What do we have there for a pretty pigeon?" Asked the one who spoke first when they came to run to Seven?_

_Seven scowled at this man._

_"Release me, otherwise you'll be sorry!" Seven declared harshly._

_Thereupon the man laughed._

_"But honey, that will not work. You will understand that I can not do that yet. Yes? We will have so much fun together. Promise!" Then he laughed a scornful laugh._

_"Here's your reward." then he threw the other man a bag full of jingling talers. He counted them quickly and then said goodbye._

_"Well, just that you know, you will be my new toy and please do not give yourself the false illusion that you could escape or someone would free you. That will not happen. The shackles that hold you are made of a metal that can never be broken, and this place we are in is so safe and so deep underground that no scan will ever be able to locate you here. So sweetie, relax and let us show you how much fun we can have together. Resistance is futile." The man laughed again sneeringly and slapped Seven with his hand in the face and then ripped Seven Biosuit from her body._

*********************************

The memories of the first hours of her abduction flooded Seven's memory and her emotional world. Seven had to strangle vigorously and vomit. But since she had only regenerated the last 16 days, her stomach was empty, so she vomited nothing but gall. Full of internal pain, which only existed in her head, she vomited over and over again. Her body trembled uncontrollably. 


	5. Chapter 5

Kathryn was after Seven left her in Cargo Bay 2, turned back to the bridge and rushed into her ready room. Chakotay looked after her in surprise. Actually, he had thought that she would be gone longer because she still wanted to accompany Seven to the doctor.

Quickly, Chakotay stood up and followed the captain into her ready room. Once there, he could see her sinking into her chair, hanging his shoulders and hiding her head in her hands.

"What happened?" Chakotay asked curiously.

Kathryn looked up in surprise, she had not noticed how Chakotay had followed her.

But before they could answer, her communicator sounded.

"Doctor to the Captain"

"Yes Doctor, what is there?"

"I wanted to ask when Seven and you, in the infirmary for follow-up comes?"

Kathryn looked at Chakotay, confused.

"Doctor, I thought Seven would have been with you long ago. She had told me that she did not need my help and wanted to go to you alone. Has not she arrived at the infirmary?" Kathryn asked worriedly.

"No, otherwise I would not have asked where you two stay." The doctor replied a trace too annoyed and Kathryn made the decision to speak to the doctor about his tone of speech to her soon.

Before Kathryn could answer the doctor, another buzzer sounded from her communicator. Quickly she clicked it and asked "Yes?"

"Captain, this is B'Elanna. I just found Seven in the hallway, not far from Cargo Bay 2, she seems to need help. Please come quickly" B'Elanna told the captain.

"On the way." Kathryn said quickly and got up quickly. "Chakotay, you have the bridge, we'll talk later." Then she rushed out of her ready room and headed for the turbolift.

"Doctor, B'Elanna just informed me that she found Seven. I'll go to her quickly and then we'll meet with you in the infirmary for the follow-up." Kathryn also informed the doctor so he could not annoy her any further.


	6. Chapter 6

While Kathryn made her way to Seven, Seven trembled and whimpered uncontrollably in the hallway. B'Elanna could barely recognize the young woman. No, that was no longer the arrogant and cool Borg. Pitying, she leaned down to Seven and put her arm around her shoulders, talking comfortingly to her. Seven did not seem to notice. She looked very bad and retch several times, but nothing seemed to come out.

"Shht ... everything will be alright, the captain is coming soon. Hold on. Yes?" B'Elanna stroked gently over Seven's cheek and her hair. At Kahles, she hoped the captain could calm Seven.

*No, nothing will ever be okay* Seven thought it through. Her tormentor was right, she would never be released, and no one would come and save her. Only, death could free her now and release her from the endless pain she felt deep inside. Slowly she slipped back into the memories.

**********************

_Her kidnapper stood in front of her, holding in her hand the electric baton he called the "Vanquisher". He had touched Seven with him several times, inflicting her incredible pain. Just now he led the "Vanquisher" on her abdominal implant and thus sent a painful energy wave through Seven's entire body. She screamed and turned to face this tremendous pain and only a short time later she collapsed unconscious. But her tormentor brought her back quickly, just to slap her in the face, expressing his anger at how much he hated when she pulled herself out of her torture by fainting._

_"No, no" he shouted at her and continued to beat her._

_"I did not allow you to simply escape the 'Vanquisher'. You will stop this behavior immediately. Did we get along?" He clawed his dirty fingers into her hair and jerked her head back._

_Seven barely got enough air into her lungs and she was forced to look her tormentor in the eye. He looked at her in disgust and awaited an answer. When Seven did not answer, he pulled on her hair a little more and her throat muscles became even more stretched and tense. Then he put the "Vanquisher" on her left side and hit him against Seven._

_Seven winced at the pain and writhed. But her tormentor just laughed and pushed the "Vanquisher" even more against Seven Page. Seven tried to speak, but the pain rolled over her and she sank into a pleasant darkness, never hoping to emerge from it again._

_The next time she came to, she was alone in the dark cave. She took a deep breath and desperately drew enough air into her lungs. She had great difficulty and could only gasp for a moment. Not enough to supply them with enough oxygen. Her whole body burned and ached, she felt her nano-probes working at full speed in her body, but slowly getting weaker._

_Without warning, she suddenly felt a deep pain radiating from her head. Her tormentor had stood behind her, and when he realized she was waking again, he had torn a tuft of hair from her scalp. Now he stepped in front of her and laughed at her._

_"Oh, hello princesses, did you have a good night's sleep?" He shouted sarcastically and slapped her face._

_"Did not I say explicitly that I do not like it when you just faint, instead of accepting your punishment proudly and enduring it? I thought I was very clear. Hm ..." he thought for a while and paced restlessly through the dark cave._

_Then Seven felt her tormentor suddenly put his sharp teeth to her body and bit her and attack and rip her body with his dirty sharp claws. Like a wild animal, he fell upon her, raging his frustration on her body. Then he watched in fascination as the nanoprobes cured Seven's injuries._

_Seven felt infinitely weak and tired. She closed her eyes and did not care what would follow next. She no longer had the strength to fight for her survival._

**********************

A short time later Kathryn arrived completely out of breath to the two women. B'Elanna immediately broke away from Seven and stepped aside. Kathryn nodded her thanks gratefully and then sat next to Seven. She was a little bit worried that Seven would dismiss her again so abruptly, but to her astonishment Seven immediately flees into the embrace Kathryn offered her. Desperately, Seven held on to her and Kathryn felt how Seven's body trembled and she sobbed unrestrained on her shoulder.

B'Elanna was so wise at the moment and requested a "place to place" transport for the Captain and Seven. Moments later, the two women materialized in the captain's quarters.

There, both women sat entwined for a long time on the floor. Kathryn carefully stroked Seven's back and tried to comfort her. It took a long time before Seven's sobs had stopped and she was just shaking.

"Seven?" Kathryn asked softly, but Seven did not respond. Slowly, Kathryn detached herself a little and looked at her. Seven was completely exhausted asleep in her arms. Quietly, Kathryn tapped her communicator and asked Tuvok to come over to help her put Seven to bed.

**********************

After Tuvok had carried Seven to bed and Kathryn had covered her warm, both went back to the living area.

"Thanks, for your help, old friend. I could not have done it alone. How is it on the bridge and with our investigations?"

"Everything works well on the bridge and Commander Chakotay has everything under control. Our investigation has so far yielded nothing, and it looks like we can not locate the one who abducted Seven." Tuvok said, as always, a little stiffly.

"Thank you, Tuvok."

"Captain" Tuvok nodded at Kathryn, then quietly left the quarters.

Kathryn sat down at her desk and briefly told Chakotay in a message the situation and that she would continue to work from her quarters. She then uploaded work reports to her computer and began to work through the reports. In between, she looked every now and again to Seven, which rolled uneasily in her bed or whimpered softly. Kathryn broke the heart to see her like that. She often sat down next to her and gently stroked her cheek and stayed for a while until Seven calmed down again.

So the day passed and when Kathryn's stomach began to growl wild, she realized that she had hardly eaten during the day. Before she went to the replicator to replicate something to eat, she looked again at Seven.

She was surprised when she saw that Seven was not in bed anymore. Hurriedly she went through the bedroom and knocked on the bathroom door, when she received no answer, she opened the door and looked with her head gently into the bathroom. No sign of Seven. So she went to the bathroom and only then did she see Seven squatting in the far corner.

As Kathryn approached, she saw what Seven had done exactly. She had cut her hair with scissors. Everywhere lay on the floor long blond strands and curls spread. Seven was about to scratch her arms bloody. She was so busy that she had not noticed Kathryn stepping on her quickly. Terrified by Seven Tun, she held her arms and looked at her seriously.

"Seven, what are you doing? Stop doing that. You hurt only more!" She said sternly to Seven.

Seven was terrified and paused in her actions. She looked at Kathryn as if she had never seen her before. Only then did Kathryn realize Seven's eyes. Their eyes, which used to be always bright blue, sparkling like an ice sea, were now dark and had lost their luster. They looked at Kathryn desperately and driven. There was nothing reminiscent of the proud young woman she had rescued from the Borg.

"Seven" Kathryn said softly again and Seven sank down and started sobbing again. Kathryn moved closer to the young woman and took her in her arms and held her tight.

"Shht ... everything is fine, nothing can happen to you here. I am so sorry that something terrible happened to you. Shht ... I'm here and I will not let you ever hurt again. I promise you. Shht ..."


	7. Chapter 7

After a while, Seven suddenly stiffened and turned away from the embrace of Kathryn. She moved away from her a bit and looked at her.

"No" she said harshly and Kathryn was confused. What did Seven mean by "no"?

"Seven?" She asked.

"No, nothing is good and no, you can not promise that this will never happen again. You are weak, how are you going to prevent it?" asked Seven she upset.

Kathryn still looked at her in confusion, wondering what had happened. Seven was ready to accept Kathryn's consolation and now she was as cold as she was this morning when she came out of regeneration. Kathryn swallowed several times before answering calmly.

"On Voyager, I'm the captain and I'm not letting one of my crew members get hurt. I will not tolerate that and yes, I failed when I let you be harmed. But now you are here again and I promise you that something like that will never happen again. Please do not push me away from you, I want to help you to process the experience and I want you to be fine." Kathryn said determined.

Seven looked at her blankly and thought about it.

"How?" Asked Seven quietly and her voice reminded of a child who had lost his innocence and the evil in the world had learned and now no longer believed that there was something good in the galaxy.

Tears were burning in Kathryn's eyes that wanted to be released. She let it happen and sank back to the floor. She buried her face in her hands and began to cry. It did not matter that Seven saw her like that. She had just realized how much they had failed and how much of a blame she had for what had happened to Seven. She had thought all along that she could fix it again, that she just had to be there for Seven, show her her love, and that everything would be fine somehow. But only now she saw and understood how wrong she had been. *How?* Only this one word was enough to bring Kathryn's world to collapse.

Seven looked in horror at her captain, who was sitting in front of her and crying. If even the captain gave in to the suffering and cried, how could she ever stop crying herself? Seven asked desperately.

Seven decided to leave. She did not want to see the strongest person she knew look so weak. It made her restless and more desperate. She tried to lift up her heavy, powerless body. It was terribly difficult and she needed several attempts before she stood on wobbly legs and had to lean against the bathroom wall.

Kathryn looked up as she heard Seven move and watched her. Quickly she wiped down her tears, got up and went to Seven's side and offered her her arm. you could see at Seven that she did not want to accept the help of Kathryn. But to the astonishment of Kathryn, she took her arm and leaned on her.

When Seven took her arm, she noticed again the bloody forearms of Seven. So Kathryn stopped.

"We should patch up this, I have a skin regenerator. Please sit on the edge of the tub. I'll be right back." Then she went and got him.

Seven sat on the edge of the tub and happened to see her face in the mirror. She studied herself closely, and when she saw the trimmed hair, which was no more than 5mm long in some places and 1cm long in other places, she grinned. The way she looked now, no one would find her pretty and call her sweetheart, pigeon or sweetie.

As Seven continued to look in the mirror, Kathryn came back to the bathroom. At the sight of Seven gazing fixedly at the mirror, she stopped and looked at Seven's reflection as well. Her beautiful blond hair was gone now and what was left was hardly beautiful. Seven had done a good job cutting her hair all over. The doctor had not let her grow until more than two weeks ago, after Seven's tormentor had cut her hair cut off or torn from her head. Why did Seven do the same to themselves?

Kathryn stepped behind Seven and put her hands on her shoulders. Seven flinched noticeably and Kathryn apologized softly.

"Why?" She asked Seven after a moment and Seven looked away from her mirror image and looked questioningly at Kathryn.

"Why did you cut your hair off?" Kathryn asked again. But Seven turned back to her mirror image and continued to look interested.

All what Seven saw was a broken woman who was eaten up by her pain. Then she saw her tormentor, who laughed at her and looked at her eagerly and rammed his sharp teeth into her flesh. Seven knew it was just a memory, but she still felt the same pain as when he did.

The question of her captain was insignificant, the question that mattered was how long she could or did not want to live like this.

Kathryn did not want to push Seven any further, so she gave up waiting for an answer from Seven. She took her left arm instead and pushed up the broken bio-suit sleeve, then healed the deep scratch marks with the skin regenerator. She did the same with her right arm. When she was done, she looked at Seven gently and stroked her tenderly over her cheek. She had often done so in the last two weeks when Seven regenerated and stood silently in her alcove.

Seven looked at her in surprise, frowning at her forehead.

"Forgive me, I did not mean to hurt you." Kathryn said quickly and turned away from Seven.

"It did not hurt. It was nice, why did you do that?" Seven asked, interested.

Kathryn turned back to Seven and Seven could see many small tears running down Kathryn's cheek. She stood shakily up and approached Kathryn, brushing a tear from Kathryn's cheek with her forefingers.

"You cry. How so?"

Kathryn swallowed several times before answering.

"Because it ..., I ...." Kathryn stuttered to herself. Then she punished her shoulders and forced herself to get her feelings under control.

"I am the captain and responsible for every single crewmember serving under me. I have a duty to take care of everyone and not to favor anyone. However, I feel very guilty that I could not prevent you from being kidnapped, tortured and pained. I should have avoided that and now I feel bad because I do not know how I can help you. I'm the captain, I always have to have an answer to every problem and give strength, confidence and hope to my crew members." Kathryn explained while Seven looked at her. 

Seven was clearly too close and Kathryn could see her body tremble. She wanted to hug her, to reduce her shakiness or shut her down completely. But she could not be that selfish. She could not force Seven into a hug, causing her more harm. To her surprise, Seven sat after a moment again on the edge of the bath and looked at her reflection again.

"I felt your presence while I was regenerating. I have often felt it, not only in the last two weeks, but also in the time before. But in the last two weeks you visited me very often and stayed with me for a long time. Why?" Seven asked softly.

Kathryn drew a deep breeze, she had not known Seven during the regeneration noticed what was happening around them around her.

"Because I take care of you and was very worried about you. I did not want you to be alone in the gloomy Cargo Bay 2. I wanted to be there for you, watch over you and protect you. I wanted to know that you are well and that you are there. I ... " Kathryn paused in her monologue and did not know how to explain further, why she could only think of Seven during the last 2 weeks and that she had to be close to her.

To Kathryn's surprise, Seven took her further from talking.

"You worry about me and it was important to you to know that I'm fine. When B'Elanna recently injured herself in an outside mission, you did not worry about her the way you do me. What does that mean?" Seven asked, still looking at her reflection.

Kathryn's mind was racing like crazy, how could she answer Seven's question without doing any more damage?

"I think it means you love me. Is that it?" Seven mused on.

Caught, Kathryn thought.

"Yes" Kathryn answered before she realized.

"I know, I knew it for a very long time, but I also knew you were the captain and therefore would not relate to any of your crew or you would not allow it." Explained Seven and turned back to Kathryn and looked at her. Kathryn was too surprised by this message, that she was just speechless.

"My feelings for you were the same, but now I feel only pain in me. I do not want to feel it anymore." Seven said in a low, broken voice and then her expression closed and she seemed to float away mentally.

********************************

_She slipped back into the gloomy cave and to her kidnapper, who laughed at her and pressed her straight the "Vanquisher" between her breasts. Seven's heart seemed to suspend for a second, shattering her chest. But no, that would have been the release from the agony. Instead, the energy wave of the "Vanquisher" rolled uncontrollably through Seven's body, causing internal injuries in several places. Their nanoprobes had long since given up to take care of minor injuries. They are working on the big damage, trying to secure the cortical node and all the other important organs that were important to the survival of the drone. Seven's body twitched wildly and Seven writhed in pain._


	8. Chapter 8

Kathryn saw Seven curl up and a silent scream of pain on her face. Seven clutched her body and did not seem to notice it here and now.

Kathryn slowly approached Seven and put a hand on her shoulders. "Seven?"

Seven winced at the touch and was hurled back into the here and now. She looked up at Kathryn. Kathryn dropped to her knees so Seven could look down on her.

"I want you to stay here with me. I think the Cargo Bay 2 is not the right place for you right now. Please stay. Yes?" Kathryn asked her gently.

Seven was too tired right now to think about what that would mean or what the consequences would be, so she just nodded her head and turned back to the mirror.

Kathryn smiled in relief as she received Seven's approval. At least Seven would be near her, so she could better look after her and take care of her. She sincerely hoped that both of them would be able to work together, that Seven would soon be better and that there would be a future together for both of them once this crisis was over.

But her wishes did not come true, as evidenced by the days and weeks that followed.

***************************

Kathryn had moved her work to her quarters to be with Seven whenever she needed help or her presence. Chakotay had taken over the bridge and had become the captain of Voyager for the time being. Kathryn, however, officially remained the captain and both Chakotay and the crew did not want it otherwise.

Seven went worse from day to day. As soon as she got into her alcove and began her cycle of regeneration, he finished independently again, because panicking Seven not staying in her niche. Their nanoprobes were so weakened at times that they threatened to shut down at any time. The doctor had been considering sedating Seven so she could regenerate. But Seven vehemently refused. So every day the doctor had to replicate a fresh supply of fresh nanoprobes and inject them with Seven. But these were not enough to maintain their implants and body functions sufficiently. Her body was increasingly threatened with her implants being shed gradually. Seven's body was unable to handle the functions the implants had taken on itself.

The doctor told Seven to rest and sleep a lot, but sleep brought nightmares that disturbed Seven even more. The nights were full of nightmares, neither Seven, nor Kathryn got enough sleep, let alone the restful peace. As soon as Seven whimpered in the nightmare, screamed or startled, Kathryn was at her side, reassuring her.

Seven could not eat either, because everything she ate was vomited again a short time later. You could watch her look worse and worse. Her face had become even thinner and paler than usual and her cheeks had fallen. Dark circles under the eyes gave the overall picture a frightening look.

Her body was shaking all the time, so Kathryn had replicated her warm clothes. But these were not enough, so she put Seven in more and more warm clothes. Eventually, not only the memories and pain of Seven crushed her, but also the many clothes she wore to get warm. But none of that helped a bit.

Most of the time, Seven sat on the couch and pulled herself back, staring motionless for hours out the window. The quiet time was often interrupted by flashbacks in which Seven was thrown back in her memories and had to relive torture again and again.

Kathryn had to watch helplessly as Seven writhed in pain and after the flashbacks powerless and completely exhausted as an embryo rolled rolled up on the couch and whimpered. She had often taken Seven at the beginning and held her until the memories subsided and Seven had calmed down a little. But Seven pushed Kathryn more and more away and stiffened so much, which should give her comfort, Kathryn was afraid of that, this only damages Seven more. So she left it until she was sure that Seven was back in the here and now, fleeing into her embrace and clinging to her.

Kathryn was desperate day by day. She did not know how she could help Seven. Conversations over the experience Denied Seven and withdrew into itself as soon as Kathryn addressed it.

***************************

At the moment Seven was in the bedroom and was examined by Doctor. Only after an hour did he come out of the bedroom and look very dejected. Kathryn looked up expectantly.

"Captain, Seven asked me to stop replicating new nanoprobes. She has reached a point where she no longer wants to live. She is dying and she does not want to live like she did in the last 3 weeks. She desperately asked me to let her go and stop taking more action to prolong her life." The Doctor told me dejectedly.

Kathryn looked at him incredulously, she opened her mouth and closed it again. The tears that had formed in her eyes flowed unchecked down her cheeks.

She knew that it was very bad for Seven, but she was not ready to let her die. There were still enough ways to save her. She was sure they existed.

"You can not do that. I forbid you to give up Seven. We will put her in an alcove so that her nanoprobes get new energy and she will be healed. I will not let her die. I will not let that happen!" Kathryn declared obstinately and desperately.

The doctor grabbed the captain by the upper arms and held her tightly and looked her in the eye.

"Captain, please! Seven is too weak, she feels pain for most of the day, which only exists in her memories and thus can not be alleviated unless she visits a therapist treating her for post-traumatic stress disorder. But we do not have that possibility. She has given herself up for a long time. She wants to die. It is her wish. Your last wish. Any action we would take would be against her wish. Are you really going to do this to her and force her to do something she does not want or want? We would be no different from her kidnapper, who forced his will on her." The doctor said seriously.

Kathryn sagged and closed her eyes. Her tears ran freely down her cheeks and her body stopped listening to her. Her knees buckled and she dropped to the floor. There she sat desperately on the floor, crying out her grief. She did not care if the doctor saw her like that. She would lose Seven. Seven had given herself up and was dying. What was the point of all this? A life without Seven would be meaningless.

The doctor put his hand on Kathryn's shoulders and patted her gently. "I'm sorry" he said softly, then left the captain's quarters.


	9. Chapter 9

Kathryn sat on the floor for a while, sobbing out her grief. She did not notice Seven approaching slowly and on very weak wobbly legs. Seven sat down carefully on the floor next to Kathryn and put her arms around Kathryn's upper body.

Kathryn was a little startled, but then she closed Seven in her arms and held her close. Quietly she whispered in Seven's ear "I love you, please do not leave me. Stay with me and fight for your life. Please!"

Seven listened to Kathryn, but deep inside she knew she could not follow the request. She did not want to and could not continue to live as she had in the past few weeks.

But she could not bring her heart to say Kathryn. So she decided to leave when Kathryn slept.

Gently, Seven kissed Kathryn on the cheek and asked her to help her get back to the bedroom. There, both women lay down on the bed and Seven cuddled against Kathryn and felt for an eternity, the first time an inner peace in itself. She had a plan and a goal. With her last strength she would implement it.

Kathryn had calmed down and she felt so close to Seven. She could not believe that Seven just wanted to give up her life and die. She would never let that happen. She swore that. In her mind, she worked out various ways to help Seven recover. She decided to start with it tomorrow and implement the idea she had in her mind.

********************************* 

As Kathryn's breathing slowed and Seven was sure she had fallen asleep, she eased away from Kathryn and slid out of bed. With shaky weak legs, she cautiously walked around the bed. She stopped in front of Kathryn and leaned down to her. She blew a gentle kiss on Kathryn's cheek and looked at her one last time.

"I love you" she whispered softly.

Also Kathryn had changed in the last 3 weeks. She had also lost weight because of the burdens Seven had attached to her. Seven was deeply ashamed that she had exposed her to Kathryn and deprived the crew of her captain.

Quietly, Seven crept out of the quarters and the farther away she went and the safer she was in implementing her plan, the safer her footsteps became. With a last reserve of strength, which she did not even know from where she took them, Seven made her way to Cargo Bay 1. There she was satisfied that no other crew member was present. She moved to the first shuttle and opened it with a command code. Once in the shuttle, she locked it with a Borg encryption code. She was sure that no one would disturb her. Then she fed the calculations she'd put into her head and out of memory the last few days into the control panel.

With another code she started the shuttle and left the Voyager forever.

********************************* 

The bridge crew had noticed it and tried to stop the shuttle, but before they could do that, suddenly a huge crack in the universe opened in front of the Voyager and the shuttle flew in. Shortly thereafter, the crack closed again and the shuttle was gone. Excited informed the bridge crew, Chakotay and the Captain.

When Kathryn realized that Seven was not in bed by her side and the bridge crew informed her that a shuttle had been unlawfully launched and then disappeared into a burst of energy, she knew very well inside that she had lost Seven forever. Seven had left and left her alone. Kathryn's heart broke into this moment and she sank back into her bed screaming out her desperation and pain.

After hearing what had happened, Chakotay immediately went to Kathryn's quarters. Immediately after finding her, he wrapped her in his arms, trying to comfort and reassure her. A very long time passed before Kathryn calmed down and sank exhausted into Chakotay's arms.

"I asked her not to leave me." She said softly.


	10. Chapter 10

A crack of energy opened and a shuttle slid straight to Voyager. The bridge crew immediately analyzed the data.

"Captain, it's one of our own shuttle. But that's not possible, the said shuttle is still in Cargo Bay 1" Harry reported excitedly.

"Hail it" Kathryn ordered, and Harry contacted the shuttle.

To the astonishment of the entire bridge crew, the image of Seven showed up a few moments later. Kathryn immediately got up from her captain's chair and looked at Seven startled.

"Seven?" She said softly and disturbed because this Seven looked very ill.

"Captain, I ask permission to come aboard the Voyager. I have to talk to you" Seven answered before Kathryn could ask questions.

Kathryn turned briefly to Tuvok and he nodded his head to her.

"Yes, please grant" answer Kathryn.

Shortly thereafter, Seven was beamed into the captain's ready room. As soon as she materialized she sank to the ground, the journey into the past had weakened Seven even more than she had imagined.

Kathryn quickly hurried to Seven and helped her to the couch on the upper level.

"What happened to you?" Kathryn asked worriedly.

"That's not important." Seven replied softly.

"It is important that you listen to me and follow my request. Will you do that for me?" Seven asked, looking seriously at Kathryn.

"That depends on your request. But please answer some questions. Yes?"

Seven nodded slightly with her head. She had expected the captain to question her before she heard what Seven had to say to her.

"Where are you from?" Kathryn asked first.

"I'm from the future, in fact I'm about 6 weeks ahead of your time. My request concerns your Seven. Please do not let them on the planet and do not force them to make shore leave. Leave her on Voyager and keep her safe. Look at me. You do not want that Seven, the same thing happens to me. I'm going to die, but that's okay. I finished my life five and a half weeks ago. But it's not too late for your Seven. Promise me to keep her safe, yes?" Seven asked desperately.

Kathryn looked at Future Seven and her health shocked her greatly. The short-cut hair, the pale and sunken face, the trembling body. No, she would not want her Seven to do the same. But what happened to this Seven?

Kathryn took Seven trembling hands in her hands and held her to her chest.

"Seven, please tell me what happened to you." She begged Seven. Kathryn needed to know.

"That's unimportant, but I've loaded the basics on this data padd. Please do not show it to Seven and do not tell her that I was here. Just promise me you'll take care of her. She loves you and she would do anything for you. Especially if you tell her to or ask her. Please be careful what you ask of her or what you ask her for. You love her as well, so please promise me. Yes?" Seven asked again.

Kathryn released Seven's hands and ran her right hand over Seven's cheek.

"Yes, I promise you. How can I help you?" She asked Seven.

Seven smiled shyly at her.

"Tell her you love her and that you would like to be with her." Answer Seven.

"I can not do that!" Kathryn answered quickly.

"I know you are the captain, but you love her and she loves you. Do not let this love be unloved." Seven slowly got up from the couch and Kathryn helped her.

"I have to go now. Thank you for listening to me. Goodbye and be safe." Seven kissed her gently on the cheek and turned away from Kathryn to reach the bridge and request a beam on her shuttle.

"Seven, please wait." Kathryn held Seven lightly by her arm and she was startled by how thin he felt.

"Where do you want to go now and how can I help you? You should go to the infirmary and the doctor should treat you." She said to Seven.

Seven turned to her and smiled at her once more.

"Thank you, Kathryn, but it's too late for me to be treated. I can not stay in this timeline, I have to go back to my timeline. I just need to beam back to my shuttle."

"Okay, then come on, I'll take you to the bridge." Kathryn put an arm around Seven's waist and propped her up as they walked back to the bridge.

There she asked Tuvok to beam back to the shuttle.

**************************************

After Seven was beamed back to the shuttle, she gave the self-destruct sequence. In her last minutes remaining until the shuttle was destroyed, Seven retreated to a place deep inside herself. Nothing bad could happen to her, she was safe in this place. Here was Kathryn, who took her in her arms and kissed softly. The sun was shining on them both and they sat in the grass and were snuggled close together. Seven felt safe and loved.

**************************************

Moments later, the stoop crew and Kathryn saw the shuttle explode and be destroyed in thousands of tiny pieces. Everyone was horrified and shocked.

Kathryn ran tears over her cheek, which she had not yet consciously perceived. She had not expected the Seven from the future to self-destruct with the shuttle. If she had guessed, she would have stopped Seven from doing it. It felt like she lost her Seven.

But then Kathryn realized that her Seven was still working and still safe in the Astrometric Laboratory. She quickly asked Chakotay to take the bridge and look for signs of life from Shuttle. 

Then she made her way to astrometry. Once there, she hurried into the lab.

Seven looked over her shoulder in surprise and was about to question her about the event that had just taken place. But to her astonishment, the captain stepped close to her and pulled Seven into a tight, warm hug.

"Captain" Seven asked in confusion.

"Call me Kathryn, please. I'm just here to tell you that I love you and that I'll never let anything ever happen to you terrible." Kathryn explained and smiled at Seven.

Seven still looked at her in confusion, but then she thought *Humans, they are so illogical.*

"You love me?" She asked shortly afterwards.

"Yes, very much and I know that you love me too. Would you like to accompany me to dinner today?" Kathryn asked excitedly.

Seven smiled at Kathryn and nodded her head.

"Very much. What time should I go to dinner? And then you want to tell me what just happened and what that explosion was?"

"Please be with me at 7 pm and yes, I will explain it to you. But now, let me take you in my arms again and hold you tight. Yes?" Kathryn asked shyly.

Seven nodded and let Kathryn hug her tightly. Seven felt a pleasant warmth spreading to her body and she smiled broadly as Kathryn pulled away from her.

"What is there to grin?" Kathryn asked cheekily.

"Nothing, it's just nice to be in your arms and I'd like to know why you held me so much?" Seven replied.

"Well I intend to hold on to you all my life and hope you will allow me. I will tell you everything this evening. So, now be nice hardworking again, see you later." Kathryn kissed Seven quickly on her cheek and then rushed out of astrometry.

Seven watched her go and her head whirred slightly. What had just happened that the captain suddenly approached her and confessed her love? That would undoubtedly be an interesting dinner, where many questions would have to be answered.


	11. Epilogue

My name is Seven of Nine. As a child I was assimilated by the Borg. The pain when I was assimilated was immeasurable. Like the pain I have to endure now. I was taken to the infirmary 14 hours ago, and since then the doctor and my captain, who has been my wife Kathryn Janeway for three years, is trying to help us deliver our first child.

If I had known that this procedure was so exhausting and painful, I would have asked Kathryn to deliver and give birth to our child. Kathryn encourages me not to give up over and over again, but to squeeze when the doctor cries "squeeze".

The doctor is very excited, why? I do not know, because I'm lying here and in pain and he just stands around and analyzes the data and cries "squeeze" or repeatedly reminds me that I need to breathe properly.

It's been 5 years since Kathryn pulled me into her arms for the first time. Yesterday was the fifth anniversary on which "Seven of the Future" sacrificed itself to give me and Kathryn a life of happiness.

Kathryn and I, we think of her every anniversary. Kathryn is always very thoughtful on this anniversary and often reads the data padd what Seven gave her. Kathryn is very grateful that Seven had warned her not to let me go to the planet, but to keep me safe on Voyager. I am also very grateful to her.

Seven had entered clues to the data padd that exposed her then kidnapper. So he could be arrested by the authorities of the planet and arrested and sentenced to death for repeated cruel punishments. He never hurt or cruelly tortured anyone again.

End


End file.
